Personal empowerment is important. It helps give us value, strength, motivation, self-worth and in many cases, happiness.
There is a notion out there that in order to find your own happiness, you should stop caring about other people, situations, problems, your job, your boss, your ex, people who irritate you – the key is apathy. Just don’t give a fuck.
There is a slight flaw in that thinking and it comes with the idea of resistance. When we are bothered by someone/something, and it triggers an unpleasant emotional response, we resist that response.
Ew Ugh Gah, I don’t like this. Alert! Alert! ALERT!
There are a million ways you can cope with this. There is a coping skill that I like to call,
“Give a fuck”
Here’s how it works:
First, recognize what you are feeling. What is it? Is it anger? Disappointment? Sadness? Relief? Jealousy?
Ask yourself what are you REALLY reacting to. Is it that the person was late? Or do you feel deeply rejected that you’re not a priority and someone being late triggers that?
Here is where the giving a fuck comes in. You don’t brush it off, brush off the person, brush off the situation, brush off anything. You actually care about it. I don’t mean dwell, I just mean, honor it.
Everything, every person, every situation has something you can learn from. I HAVE TO STRESS THAT THIS IS NOT EASY AT ALL. Giving a fuck is A LOT harder than not.
It also takes time… and really, that timeline is hardly ever what we anticipate or expect it to be.
We want to be respected for who we are, we want to be loved and accepted. The more that we can honor, accept, love and in general, give a fuck, we can slowly change the world one human reaction at a time.